Tuesday, August 22, 2006

It came from the pages of Hit Parader

This month I dug into the May, 1985 issue of Hit Parader magazine.There is an ad for something called the "Giant evil hand". I am not sure if it is foam or rubber, but it gives the devil horn salute. It also kind of looks like a monster hand as it has pointed fingernails and wrinkly skin. I guess the concept of the hand is just like those foam hands you used to buy at sporting events to show that your team is number one. Only with this I guess that you are saying "My band is number 666!". The ad also says that hands are fluorescent so they can be seen at concerts. Would the person that wore this to a Dio or Iron Maiden concert also have one of those beer hats on only it would have a big pentagram on the helmet part? What would security think of these foam hands? They may let you bring them in for some reason, but I don't know. Or you may be standing there with your foam hand up in the air and the lead singer of the band tells people to hold their lighters up in the air (back in the days when this could be done) and poof your foam hand goes up in smoke as someone gets their lighter too close. Although a big plus is you could cover the hand with duck tape with the sticky side facing out then you would have a handy dandy guitar pick-catcher as the devil hand would allow you to reach up a little further than those without foam hands. Although you may not want to get tape near someone's big hair. I guess this idea did not catch on because I never saw a giant evil hand at a concert. Also this was the only time I ever saw this ad. I wonder why? Oh, well sometimes ads as good as the articles in magazines.

7 Comments:

Blogger On My Watch said...

you're hilarious! at least with the pentagram beer holder you can almost carry an entire 6 pack.

I've never seen one of these big evil hands either. Probably because the first person to use one blocked somebody's view and got his ass kicked. Had to walk out of the arena with a big foam hand sticking out of... HA.

I want one.

8:35 PM  
Blogger David Amulet said...

I've not seen this either. I suspect that the first person that tried to take one out at a cconcert had his ass whooped by the people around him who couldn't see anything.

-- david

5:27 AM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

The majority of you don't seem to be too big on the giant evil hand. I guess it's just one of those inventions that was very short lived. Probably made by someone who had never been to a concert and was just trying to make a quick buck.

8:44 AM  
Blogger BeckEye said...

I dig your new template. Mucho metal.

9:40 AM  
Blogger BeckEye said...

By the way, this may seem weird since I don't actually know you personally, but I thought of you the other day while listening to my homemade hair-metal CD. I was laughing at the lyrics of "Hot Cherie" (don't know if they're technically a hair band, but Neal Schon had a helluva lotta hair) and was thinking about how I should do a post dedicated to the best cheesy metal lyrics. It was the line "I want what you got all over me" from the chorus that inspired the thought.

1:31 PM  
Blogger Metal Mark said...

Beckeye-Thanks. Welcome back. I did a post on bad lyrics maybe late June or early July, but I only gave a few examples. There are plenty to choose from if you decide to do a post on that topic.

6:27 AM  
Blogger nathan said...

awesome

2:00 PM  

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